Last night I received a text from my oldest friend in the world. She asked me to tell her what I honestly think about her as a person. I replied and although I knew why she was asking that silly question out of the blue, I asked what made her ask that. She replied she wondered why was everything so wrong in her life as if she was being punished.
I WAS SHOCKED AND ENRAGED WITH HER REPLY!!!
I told her to snap out of it and to enjoy life. There is nothing wrong with her. She is a healthy 20 something year old. She has a an amazing job. She was recently dumped by her boyfriend who is an absolute A@@! Such an a@@ that I would gladly smack him so hard that he would hit the floor! She is better of without him, and instead of being pathetic and wondering what she did wrong she should concentrate on building up her self-esteem and feel lucky that she got away from that @@X%$@%@#%$!
Luckily she quickly understood my critique and snapped out of that awful state! Most would think I was to harsh, and that I am a bad friend! Well, I CERTAINLY AM NOT! I honestly wish I had a friend like I am. I wish someone told me to snap out of it when I was depressed and so hurt that I wanted the ground to open and make me vanish, so I wouldn't feel what I felt. But I am glad no one did. I am glad they all told me to do what I thought best. I am glad everyone just avoided the topic like I was contagious when I showed my sorrow. Wanna know why? Because getting over it by myself is something I just had to do. When you are deeply hurt and feel broken beyond repair, you need to heal by yourself. because when you put the pieces back together, you glue them so hard, that it hardly unlikely you will brake that easily ever again. And after that you are a new person. In my case, Marta 2.0, a better, improved version!
Why didn't I let my friend heal by herself then? I have two reasons:
- She is not that hurt. It is just a matter of low self-esteem and she needed a push
- It is like waxing. You need someone to be tough and quick. The pain is strong, but after that the skin is left beautiful for a while and there is no more pain. Maybe just an itch, but that depends on your skin type. Much better than being gentle, because being gentle is like shaving. It is painless, but if you have skin like I do, it is a solution that lasts for a verrry short period of time.
Now, for the point of this long post! You gotta LOVE YOURSELF! You can't let go of control over your life and your feelings. Yes, love is great, but what is the point of love if the person you love hurts you all the time? If the love you give and receive doesn't make you a better person? This is not only when romantic love is concerned. It is every kind of love out there, except those you have for your family, because... You can't chose your family. They are given to you. But you can chose your friends. Use it. Chose wisely, and waist no time on people who make you feel bad about yourself. I learned a long time ago to chose my friends. It made my life so much easier.
And even though I do some really stupid and far from prudent things, I love myself. And I try to be happy every day. Some days it is hard, but those days I just try harder. Put some more make up, wear extra pretty clothes, have something really nice for breakfast. And it works! As my dear friend Crystal would say, happiness is in the small things. When you feel down, treat yourself with something nice. And it will put a smile on your face, and make you love yourself more. You are the one who builds your happiness. Not some other person.