This post was supposed to be written more than a month ago. I was inspired, but I couldn't find the time. Then I forgot about it, as I tend to sometimes :-) What is it that makes this post so special? Read on and you will find out.
I am a girl who generally enjoys life, but most of the times, I find happiness in big things. I need to do big things in order to prove something to myself. It is wrong, but I guess I like to complicate my life like that. I try to change it, and though it is hard, there are moments when I see just how important those beautiful little things are. When the huge ones don't matter that much anymore and when I feel different. Some kind of inexplicable joy in my chest that grows and spreads all over my body. It makes my day and absolutely nothing anyone does or says to me can't get me angry in the next few hours. These things are verrry rare. A great cup of coffee, a beautiful song on the radio, the way my hair shines in the sun. But not every cup of coffee, even though I always drink the same coffee when I go out. And not every song, and even when it is the same song, not always. And not every time my hair shines, but sometimes, when I see it from a different perspective.
I know this makes little sense for most of you, because a song is a song. If it makes you happy once, shouldn't it always? And if a coffee is made in the same way, shouldn't it taste the same every time? And yes, the song is the same, and the taste of the coffee is the same. But I don't FEEL it the same way. Just like I didn't feel the rain falling from the sunny sky in the same way as I did on some other occasion.
Why is that? What makes me, and I believe some of you, too, feel things differently sometimes?
I have been thinking about that topic for a while now, and I've grown to believe it is about how we see life itself. What actually happened that day? I wasn't very nervous. I was thinking about this boy who I liked. And about how I don't feel like sitting in class for the next few hours. And how the traffic really makes me wanna send someone to that ... lets call it a dark place... And how life in general is ok, but nothing special. I repeat I was NOT unhappy. I was NOT nervous. I was NOT hopeless. I was just... whatever. The weather was ok. It just started getting cold, and I had to wear long sleeves, but it was still above 15 degrees, so I wasn't cold. And there was some sun. Not much, but enough to make me think it is much warmer than it was. And I was listening to the radio in my car, and a good song was playing. And then it happened. It started raining out of the blue. While there was till sun. I was... amazed. It was beautiful, and it made forget about why was I blah that day. I just stopped feeling anything negative that I had been. I just stopped thinking. I had to get my phone and tape it, because when my brain started working again, I realized just how beautiful life is. Those little things make it beautiful. Not exactly the rain falling from a sunny sky, but the coffee that tastes good and puts a smile on my face. And a song that gives me goosebumps. And the sun in my hair that makes it shiny and makes me remember why I wanted it red in the first place.
Here you have the video. This might not be anything special to you, and the video is not that good, so you can't really see it well. I would love to read what is special to you. What makes you happy. :-)